SD 003 Heist Assistant

TikTok | YouTube

D: Are you available this weekend? I just need your help with a bank robbery.

S surprised and confused: You need my help with a bank robbery?

D: Well technically it’s a credit union, but yeah.

S: Okay, I can spare 5 minutes to help you out.

D: No, no, this is like, an all day thing.

S: How is it an all day thing? I can just walk in there, rip the vault door off its hinges, and then just hand you the money. Like, it’s in and out.

D: I mean like we could do that, but I’ve been planning this heist for months and honestly I wasn’t even gonna ask you, but one of my henchmen, he has to go to his daughter’s piano recital so I need somebody to fill in.

S: You literally just need an extra pair of hands?

D: Yeah, there’s a bunch of security keypads that I have to pry open and rewire, and it’s just so much easier if I have somebody else holding the flashlight.

S hand on their head: I’m sorry, did you just say hold the flashlight?

D: Are you gonna help me or not?

Later, inside a dark credit union:

S lazily holding the flashlight: You know I’m pretty sure I’ve never been inside a credit union before.

D exasperated: Light!

S pointing flashlight where D needs it to see: Oh, sorry.

Caption: The hard way is more fun.